YOU GOT A TATTOO. NOW DON’T BE STUPID…

TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAMN TATTOO OR REGRET IT FOREVER 

Look at you. Walkin’ outta the tattoo shop like a badass, feelin’ yourself. But hold up—just ‘cause you got that fresh ink don’t mean the job is done. No, my friend, now comes the real test. You take care of that tattoo right, and you’ll be lookin’ smooth for years. Screw it up, and you’ll be rockin’ some crusty, faded garbage that nobody—not even your mama—wants to see.  

So listen up, ‘cause I ain’t sayin’ this twice.  

---

BEFORE YOU GET THE TATTOO: PREP LIKE A PRO

You wanna give your artist the best damn skin to work on? Then follow these simple rules:  

Drink some damn water. Hydrated skin heals better. Don’t be out here lookin’ like a raisin.  

Moisturize—but don’t drown yourself in lotion. Soft, healthy skin = smooth tattooing.  

Stay the hell outta the sun. You show up sunburned, that needle’s gonna hurt like a mother…

Eat some real food. Nobody wants you passin’ out in the chair like a punk.  

No booze, no aspirin. Unless you like bleeding all over the damn place, skip it before your session.  

---

THE RULES OF TATTOO AFTERCARE  

Now pay attention, ‘cause this is the part where people get lazy. And lazy gets you infections, scabs, and a tattoo that looks like roadkill.  

DO THIS, OR ELSE…  

Listen to your damn artist. They spent hours on that masterpiece. Don’t go home and do some dumb DIY aftercare you saw on TikTok.  

Wash your tattoo—GENTLY. Lukewarm water. Unscented soap. And for the love of all things holy, USE CLEAN HANDS.  

Moisturize, but don’t slather. A thin layer is all you need. You’re healing a tattoo, not bastin’ a turkey.  

Let it breathe. That plastic wrap ain’t a permanent fashion statement. Keep it on as long as your artist says, then set it free.  

Stay out the sun, and slap on some SPF when healed. Unless you like your ink lookin’ 20 years old after six months.  

DON’T YOU DARE: 

✘ DO NOT PICK, SCRATCH, OR PEEL. Yes, it’s itchy. Yes, you want to. NO, YOU CAN’T. You pick, you scar. You scar, you mess up that tattoo.  

✘ No soaking in water. No pools, no bathtubs, no ocean, no damn hot tubs. Shower? Yes. Soak? Hell no.  

✘ Don’t put random products on it. Coconut oil? Perfume lotion? Alcohol? Are you outta your mind?! Stick to what your artist told you.  

✘ No tight-ass clothes rubbing on it. You suffocate it, you irritate it. Let that ink BREATHE.  

✘ Don’t take advice from some fool who “knows a guy.” Your cousin’s friend’s brother ain’t a tattoo artist. Listen to the professionals.  

---

GOOD VS. BAD AFTERCARE—DON’T BE A FOOL

Good aftercare = Bright, clean, smooth tattoo. You look fresh, your artist is proud, life is good.  

✘ Bad aftercare = Patchy, faded, infected disaster. You tell people it was supposed to be a lion, but now it looks like a moldy potato.  

---

LONG-TERM TATTOO CARE—DON’T BE THAT PERSON

So your tattoo is healed. That mean you’re done? Hell no. You wanna keep that ink looking sharp? Do this:  

Moisturize your damn skin. Ashy tattoos ain’t a good look.  

Sunscreen, fool. You wanna turn your art into a ghost of its former self? No? Then SPF that bad boy.  

Don’t scrub it like you’re tryna erase it. Gentle washing, always.  

Get a touch-up if you need one. It’s okay. Life happens. Ink fades. Don’t be too proud to refresh it.

---

FINAL WARNING: RESPECT THE ART OR REGRET IT  

Look, you paid for that tattoo. You sat through the pain. Now don’t be an idiot and ruin it with lazy aftercare. Follow these rules, and your ink will stay looking badass. Ignore ‘em, and you’ll be explaining to people why your tattoo looks like a melted crayon.  

Your choice. Don’t screw it up.