YOU GOT A TATTOO. NOW DON’T BE STUPID…

TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAMN TATTOO OR REGRET IT FOREVER 

Look at you. Walkin’ outta the tattoo shop like a badass, feelin’ yourself. But hold up—just ‘cause you got that fresh ink don’t mean the job is done. No, my friend, now comes the real test. You take care of that tattoo right, and you’ll be lookin’ smooth for years. Screw it up, and you’ll be rockin’ some crusty, faded garbage that nobody—not even your mama—wants to see.  

So listen up, ‘cause I ain’t sayin’ this twice.  

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BEFORE YOU GET THE TATTOO: PREP LIKE A PRO

You wanna give your artist the best damn skin to work on? Then follow these simple rules:  

Drink some damn water. Hydrated skin heals better. Don’t be out here lookin’ like a raisin.  

Moisturize—but don’t drown yourself in lotion. Soft, healthy skin = smooth tattooing.  

Stay the hell outta the sun. You show up sunburned, that needle’s gonna hurt like a mother…

Eat some real food. Nobody wants you passin’ out in the chair like a punk.  

No booze, no aspirin. Unless you like bleeding all over the damn place, skip it before your session.  

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THE RULES OF TATTOO AFTERCARE  

Now pay attention, ‘cause this is the part where people get lazy. And lazy gets you infections, scabs, and a tattoo that looks like roadkill.  

DO THIS, OR ELSE…  

Listen to your damn artist. They spent hours on that masterpiece. Don’t go home and do some dumb DIY aftercare you saw on TikTok.  

Wash your tattoo—GENTLY. Lukewarm water. Unscented soap. And for the love of all things holy, USE CLEAN HANDS.  

Moisturize, but don’t slather. A thin layer is all you need. You’re healing a tattoo, not bastin’ a turkey.  

Let it breathe. That plastic wrap ain’t a permanent fashion statement. Keep it on as long as your artist says, then set it free.  

Stay out the sun, and slap on some SPF when healed. Unless you like your ink lookin’ 20 years old after six months.  

DON’T YOU DARE: 

✘ DO NOT PICK, SCRATCH, OR PEEL. Yes, it’s itchy. Yes, you want to. NO, YOU CAN’T. You pick, you scar. You scar, you mess up that tattoo.  

✘ No soaking in water. No pools, no bathtubs, no ocean, no damn hot tubs. Shower? Yes. Soak? Hell no.  

✘ Don’t put random products on it. Coconut oil? Perfume lotion? Alcohol? Are you outta your mind?! Stick to what your artist told you.  

✘ No tight-ass clothes rubbing on it. You suffocate it, you irritate it. Let that ink BREATHE.  

✘ Don’t take advice from some fool who “knows a guy.” Your cousin’s friend’s brother ain’t a tattoo artist. Listen to the professionals.  

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GOOD VS. BAD AFTERCARE—DON’T BE A FOOL

Good aftercare = Bright, clean, smooth tattoo. You look fresh, your artist is proud, life is good.  

✘ Bad aftercare = Patchy, faded, infected disaster. You tell people it was supposed to be a lion, but now it looks like a moldy potato.  

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LONG-TERM TATTOO CARE—DON’T BE THAT PERSON

So your tattoo is healed. That mean you’re done? Hell no. You wanna keep that ink looking sharp? Do this:  

Moisturize your damn skin. Ashy tattoos ain’t a good look.  

Sunscreen, fool. You wanna turn your art into a ghost of its former self? No? Then SPF that bad boy.  

Don’t scrub it like you’re tryna erase it. Gentle washing, always.  

Get a touch-up if you need one. It’s okay. Life happens. Ink fades. Don’t be too proud to refresh it.

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FINAL WARNING: RESPECT THE ART OR REGRET IT  

Look, you paid for that tattoo. You sat through the pain. Now don’t be an idiot and ruin it with lazy aftercare. Follow these rules, and your ink will stay looking badass. Ignore ‘em, and you’ll be explaining to people why your tattoo looks like a melted crayon.  

Your choice. Don’t screw it up.  

Black Sheep: The Real MVPs of Society

Alright, listen up, people. We need to talk about the black sheep. You know what I’m talking about—that one person in the family who makes everybody at Thanksgiving shift uncomfortably in their seats. You got the doctors, the lawyers, the accountants, and then—BOOM!—here comes the cousin who dropped out of college to start a punk rock band and sell handmade jewelry on Etsy. Yeah. That’s the black sheep.

Now, society likes to act like black sheep are some kind of problem. Like, “Oh no, they’re different! They’re not following the family tradition of boring jobs and beige-colored walls!” But let me tell you something—black sheep are the ones who make life interesting. They’re the innovators, the creatives, the rule-breakers. You think Steve Jobs, Prince, or Basquiat were out here following the herd? Nah, man. They were doing their own thing, and the world followed them.

Tattoo Artists: The Ultimate Black Sheep

Let’s get real for a second—tattoo artists? Certified black sheep status. We took that “get a real job” speech, rolled it up, and tattooed "Real Job" across our knuckles. While everyone else was chasing degrees, we were hunched over sketchbooks, covered in ink, making the world a more interesting place one badass sleeve at a time.

And let’s talk about our work environment, okay? Regular jobs got cubicles and corporate emails. We got buzzing machines, skull decor, and some dude named Ricky who only eats beef jerky and drinks Red Bull for breakfast. We live outside the norm because normal is boring. And guess what? Society needs us. We put art on people’s bodies! We help folks tell their stories, honor loved ones, and look cool as hell doing it.

Tattooed People: Walking, Talking Black Sheep

Now, let’s not forget the people who get tattoos. Oh, you thought it was just us artists out here living that black sheep life? Nah, man. If you got ink, you already know. Your grandma still hits you with that “You’re gonna regret that when you’re older” speech. Job interviewers give you the side-eye like your neck tattoo means you’re about to rob the place.

But let’s be honest—tattooed people are some of the most creative, confident, and unapologetic individuals out here. You’re literally turning your body into an art gallery, and that takes guts. You think a sheep in the herd has guts? Nah, they just eat grass and hope for the best. But a black sheep? A black sheep walks into a room, and people notice.

The Bottom Line

Here’s the truth: black sheep make the world go round. We challenge norms, shake things up, and keep life from turning into one long, beige PowerPoint presentation. Whether you’re a tattoo artist, a tattooed person, or just someone who refuses to fit into a boring mold—embrace it.

Because at the end of the day…

Stand out in a crowd.